Photo: © 2020 Lorraine Olivia Hamberger
Have you ever just been going about your own business, and suddenly your mood shifts? Maybe you start to worry obsessively or suddenly feel sad and hopeless. Perhaps you feel your heart rate increase, or you begin to feel shaky, and you wonder:
Where did that come from?
Or, it might be so second nature to you that you don’t even ask that question. It’s just a part of daily life.
There’s a Rhyme and a Reason
These mental battles are brutal to go up against, so know that you’re stronger than most if you deal with them. But we can also take solace in knowing that the feelings don’t just come from nowhere. Our brains are like computers; they take in information, like a computer takes in a code, and send out signals that correlate with the information given. When feelings arise, it usually means that there’s some kind of mental chatter running in the background, causing the brain to signal the feeling. This can also happen due to an unconscious belief.
Mental chatter and unconscious beliefs can be incredibly hard to recognize. Our mind is so close to us we often think that it’s the entirety of our identity. Therefore, if there’s anxiety or depression-ridden chatter going off in the back of our minds, we’re more likely to question ourselves than we are to question the mental chatter.
But think about it; have you ever mistakenly said something you didn’t mean or blurted out something without any forethought? Notions can run through our minds without us having any actual say. We give ourselves a break when we blurt something stupid out, so why don’t we allow that with our thoughts?
Awareness is Power
The problem with our thoughts is that we don’t always realize we’re thinking them. When we blurt something out without thinking, we can acknowledge the statement because we said it aloud. But when we’re on auto-pilot and our thoughts run the show without conscious censorship, we don’t have that kind of proof. All we have are the feelings that arise in response.
It may seem counter-intuitive, but many people find that becoming aware of the unwanted feeling is the first step to controlling it. Often the first thing you’ll want to do is ignore a feeling that creates a negative experience by distracting or numbing yourself. But as long as you take a methodological approach, awareness is a key player in winning these mental battles. When you notice the unwanted feeling, try and think, what are some possible beliefs I carry that would make me feel this way?
As mentioned, taking a logical approach to this is the only way to ask yourself these critical questions without it spiraling out of control. Think about it like you’re an investigator trying to solve the mystery of your own mind—trying to get to the bottom of why these feelings keep coming up. What’s a possible one-liner that your brain may have playing on repeat? The brain is pretty predictable, so if there’s information that it comes across regularly, it will keep that on a rotation whether we want it to or not.
Note: If you’re in a place where you’re extra susceptible to a negative spiral, opt for self-soothing and save the investigative approach for when you’re in a more stable state.
Separation of the Mind and Self
Isn’t learning about the characteristics of the brain interesting? It almost makes you feel like our minds… have a mind of their own. That may sound crazy, but it’s true in a way. Our brains evolved to take action on their own, and it really came in handy when we were in imminent danger and needed to act fast to survive.
Our brains still have this capacity; we just don’t use it in the same way as our Paleolithic ancestors did. Life is different now, and we need our brains to aid us in the intense mental load that many of us carry, not to help us run away from a tiger. By separating ourselves from our minds during mental crises, we have the power to thank our brains for recognizing the stress and alerting us of it while simultaneously choosing not to succumb to its every whim.
In the case of mental chatter, the process would look something like this:
1. When an unwanted feeling arises, we ask ourselves what messaging our brains are taking in to make us feel this way.
2. We identify mental chatter or beliefs that are running around in our minds without permission or direction.
3. We separate ourselves from the statement or belief because we know our brains can make assumptions independently when in the presence of stress.
4. We choose a different mental path rooted in consciousness, wherein we have more say in the thoughts that take up space in our minds.
Do you often feel bombarded by mental chatter? Hopefully, this guide will be a helpful aid in your journey to mental wellness. Please send any comments or feedback to lorraineoliviamedia@gmail.com.